| la la la la lola |
[Mar. 18th, 2008|12:44 am] |
She says she’s fine, but she’s going insane.
She says she feels good, but she’s in a lot of pain.
She says it’s nothing, but it’s really a lot.
She says she’s okay but she’s really not. |
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| California |
[Feb. 2nd, 2008|12:21 am] |
I used to be able to write. Really write. And paint. I miss the flow of creativity that would come so naturally. It's gone. I hope some day it comes back. Soon.
Today I think I may have realized a truth that I hope is not true. That makes no sense but I don't make sense ever anymore. My brain is almost separate from me. I can't explain it, I just feel distant from myself and nothing comes out right. Anyways, I realized that I will never ever be loved. Who would want to love me, seriously. I'm such a mess. I'm just too much to deal with. Some people have thought they loved me but give them a week and they're done with me. Every single time. I'm going to end up dying young and alone. Whatever. It hurts but it's nothing I'm not used to. Constant pain. Glorious. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2008|02:53 pm] |
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I do stupid things. I hurt myself on purpose. I love you. I don't like living here anymore. I just want to get away from here more than anything. Time passes too quickly. People die too easily. Live is precious, but I don't care about mine so much anymore. It sucks. My uncle died today. I kind of hope I'm next. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2008|08:54 am] |
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I literally feel like I'm dying. I don't know what to say anymore. I got two hours of sleep and now I have work. I don't feel well. My chest is absolutely killing me. Actually my whole body is. I don't know what to do. Fuck my life. I complain way too much. |
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| :] |
[Mar. 23rd, 2007|03:55 pm] |
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linds_beckett's journal